The Ten Commandments Part 6

Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Deu 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This command actually ends the first table of the commandments. The previous four have all had to do with our relationship to God. God begins with our relationship with Him, because that is first in importance. If we do not care about offending against God we will have few scruples about offending against people. This command is a transition commandment. It belongs to the first table, because it still deals with our relationship with God as reflected by our relationship with human authority. Thus this commandment belongs to both the first and second table and forms a bridge between them.

God often tests the reality of our relationship with Him based on our relationship to others. True love of God is proved by love of the brethren (1 John 4:20). In the same way our honoring our parents is a reflection of our honor for God. Since, if we are born again, God is also our Father, we will respond to Him as we do to our earthly parents. We had no say in who our parents were, God chose that as sovereign over all things to do with human reproduction. Whatever the faults and flaws they have, they were still chosen by God for our training, so we should honor them. This holds true with authorities in general, and if we learn a right attitude to our parents we will have a much easier time with other authorities who were also placed over us by God. God often asks us to obey Him in things that go against the way we would like to do things, if we never learn to respond well to our parents when they cross our will, how will we respond to Him?

It is not always possible to obey our parents, but it always is possible to honor them. Jesus is our pattern in this as well as in everything else. When He was young He was obedient to them in everything (Luk. 2:51). As He grew older and entered His ministry, there were some things that He was unable to follow their wishes in, because He had to do the will of His Father. However, He was always respectful to His mother, though in English it may not always translate so (John 2:1-11; Matt. 12:46-50). Among His last acts as He hung on the cross was ensuring that His mother would be looked after (John 19:26-27).

If our parents are requiring something of us that is contrary to what God says in His Word, we must obey God, but be respectful towards them. If they attempt to pressure us into a vocation or other long term commitment that we have no desire towards, we should pray to see if it is God’s will for us. God can change our desires, but if it isn’t His will and we are sure that God has something else for us, we should state firmly yet respectfully that we will not pursue that course of action. Far greater than our duty to our parents is our duty towards God. Sometimes these difficulties can continue for some time, so we should pray that God would bring about His will. If our parents are set on something for us, we can not budge them, but God can give them a change of heart. He usually will do this after our own attitude improves.

This commandment is the first one with a promise. We are promised a long and blessed life if we obey it. So may God grant that we obey it!